Saturday, March 13, 2010

a good giggle.....written by????

Arena: Place where humans can take the fun out of forward motion.

Bit: Means by which a rider's every motion is transmitted to the
sensitive tissues of the mouth.

Bucking: counter-irritant.

Crossties: Gymnastic apparatus.

Dressage: Process by which some riders can eventually be taught to
respect the bit.

Fence: Barrier that protects good grazing.

Grain: Sole virtue of domestication.

Hitching rail: Means by which to test one's strength.

Horse trailer: Mobile cave bear den.

Hotwalker: The lesser of two evils.

Jump: An opportunity for self-expression.

Latch: Type of puzzle.

Lungeing: Procedure for keeping a prospective rider at bay.

Owner: Human assigned responsibility for one's feeding.

Rider: Owner overstepping its bounds.

Farrier: Disposable surrogate owner; useful for acting out aggression
without compromising food supply.

Trainer: Owner with mob connections.

Veterinarian: Flightless albino vulture

Only Horse People:

- believe in an 11th commandment: inside leg to outside rein...

- know that all topical medications come in either indelible blue or
neon yellow.

- think nothing of eating a sandwich while mucking out a stall.

- know why a thermometer has a yard of yarn attached to the end of it.

- are banned from Laundromats.

- fail to associate whips, chains and leather with sexual deviancy.

- can magically lower their voices five octaves to bellow at a pawing

- will end relationships over their hobby.

- cluck to their cars to help them up hills.

- insure their horses for more than their cars.

- know (and care) more about their horse's nutrition than their own.

- have no problem speaking of semen, abscesses and colic surgery at
the dinner table.

- have a smaller wardrobe than their horse..

- engage in a hobby that is more work than their day job.

- know that a good ride is better than Zoloft any day.

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